so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
