my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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