So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
