yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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