Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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