I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
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