and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
