he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
