chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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