Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
