Please, let me fuck your mom
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Randomize
