the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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