how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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