She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize