May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
