the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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