I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
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I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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