Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize