i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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