rhymes with "ouble enetration"
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
