you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
