mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
