respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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