I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
