I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Randomize
