Got a toothbrush?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
