sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
