I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
