I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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