Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
This baby is an asshole
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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