After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
