I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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