We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
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When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
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This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
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