Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize