If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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