i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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