Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
