I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
