I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
