he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
