My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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