if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
