If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
