Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
