Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
