Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Randomize
