two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
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I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
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I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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