you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
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I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
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This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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