she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
