So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
