The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Did I show you my penis last night?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
