At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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