you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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