i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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