And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
