YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
