I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
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She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
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I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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