It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
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i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
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Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
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