i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
