Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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