non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize